Moving forward...
leaving behind friends that never were
Move forward...
growing into who we are
flash forward...
deciding what to do with our lives
Forward...
getting left behind...

Stubborn, thoughtful, deliberate, procrastinator, loving to a fault... a view of myself
Sometimes I wonder if I shall ever move past my flaws...
But then I wonder... why?
These make me unique or special, right?
So there is no need...

Epiphanys are for a better off social class. I cannot afford to change my views at the drop of a hat.  A friend of mine from a wealthy family has become "un-engaged" to a man she had decided to marry after "some things just became evident" after her internship in another state.  Two months later, she convinces or guides another man (also wealthy) to leave his intended wife.

I understand mistakes and the chance to rewind them.  What I don't understand is the blantant disregard of what is in front of you. How do you go from one lifestyle or mate to another just because?

I have begun to think it is a class issue. I grew up in a less wealthy class than she did; therefore, she thinks that she will get everything she wants. If she doesn't, then there is still the other side of the coin.  Whereas, I can see the more practical side: the original couples weren't wrong for one another, just bored.

I am not saying there are no options, but at the same time, do we really get to have all the options?

Why do people feel like they have a say in how you dress? I am dressing for a party and my roommate's boyfriend expressed his view about my outfit with a disparaging "You're wearing that?" The disbelief dripping from the statement was enough to make me cry and run upstairs to change. 

Classic moment when boys need to learn that there is a process to dressing.

I am never going to wear that outfit again...

    Some experiences between mothers and daughters are so memorable that the story of them are told over and over.  Growing up, my mother always told me that I was special. As the oldest of three - two from one marriage, one from another - I was the experiment.  My mother used me to figure out how to raise the other kids.  I dealt with more restrictions, more chores, more expectations than the other two.  Not that I minded... most of the time.
    I knew how to push her buttons, and she knew mine. She hated that I got a boyfriend so soon after I left for college; and I hated that she was trying to control me.  Two years have passed and I am still with my boyfriend.  I do realize that she was trying to protect me... but i have to learn to protect myself sometime.
    We act out of love, even when we are angry.  She is so much a part of me and my life.  I will never forget the seminars she took me to when I was 12 about growing up or the hugs she gave me when I came home crying from school.